Except that yesterday I went to two picnics. Which could have been difficult. But thankfully they were at the same time and place. I wish I could combine more things in that manner. Eg. Bible study and work. Church and engagement parties. It could work.
that I had a third eye, on my forehead, above my nose. It was quite distressing really. I considered asking a doctor to sew it shut but then realised that I would have a soft spot in the middle of my forehead. Not a good solution. It then dawned on me that it wasn’t a third eye at all – it was my right eye that had migrated. Thankfully I worked out that I could twist my nose around a bit and if I walked around with my head tilted I almost looked normal.
I just realised that I don’t like what was my favourite tv show anymore. This is sort of good because it means I have no permanent commitment after 7:30 on Saturday nights anymore but it’s a bit… odd. I just watched the first 17 minutes and felt that the final 43 minutes would be too much effort. How can that be? Watching tv requires no effort!
Today my brother and I went shopping for a birthday present for a friend. As we were walking from the car into the shopping centre I saw a guy wearing what appeared to be a cowboy shirt. I was intrigued by this shirt so told A that we had to catch up so I could look at it. We followed him through the car park and also through a department store and out into the inside of the centre then did a tricky manoevure so that we could see the front. At this point, having achieved all I wanted to, we desisted from following.
The shirt was actually an american patriotic shirt. I suppose it could be worn by a patriotic cowboy – it had two very large eagles on the back, on a blue backgroun, white stars on red backgrounds and cowboy sleeves (in a creamy colour). I can’t really describe what a cowboy sleeve looks like but er…. well… work it out for yourselves. The front had four (I think) smaller eagles on blue backgrounds and some more stars and stuff.
It was hideous.
I also found that it’s disturbingly easy to follow people without being noticed.
This morning as I was gazing out the window of my train, I noticed that every single indicator monitor on the platform had a Windows error message obscuring it. The stations were still scrolling merrily away underneath the error messages.
That must be why the trains aren’t running on time. I blame Microsoft.
This is true. It occurred while a friend was working as a delivery boy (damn him!) at a pharmacy in his youth.
An elderly Italian man came into the pharmacy and asked the assistant for a “crotch rubber”. The assistant directed him to the condom section, probably muttering something involving “dirty”, “old” and “man” at the same time. “No no no!!” he exclaimed. Turns out he wanted those rubber grip things for the ends of a pair of crutches.
When Moses came down from Mount Sinai and everyone was worshiping the golden calf except the Levites, how did he know that it wasn’t the Levites doing it? Surely the Israelites would have all looked fairly similar… and there were quite a number of them…
Yet another occasion where my bible study leader looked confused briefly then put it down to be beyond the scope of a study on Malachi chapter 2. Ah well. Such is life.
I arrive back at work from some excursion to the following discourse:
New boss: Yay, do you know a junkie call XYZ?
Yay: never heard of him
New boss: er well he has been here lots of times before and said that (old boss) used to let him take the diazepam and pay for it later.
Yay: what was the first lesson we taught you when you started here?
New boss: never give credit to junkies?
New boss: well anyway, he’s coming back on Monday to pay the $11.20
I am totally exhausted. Have had a somewhat non stop weekend. Well, a quite large proportion of today was spent sitting on a picnic rug but that was still a social situation where one must behave and make polite conversation (er… well conversation anyway!). The hens night was a quiet evening – very civilised really. I left in the early wave of people (11pm) as I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Feeling somewhat the same now however it’s probably not wise to have a nap before church. Better to save that sort of thing for the sermon! I’m sure some of the Israelites must have slept through Deuteronomy (which the bible reader a couple of weeks ago amusing pronounced as Deuterometry) – surely I won’t be smited (smote) for the same offence.
Have survived the hair rehearsal. Thankfully the person doing the hair is a very dear friend of mine and it was quite a fun afternoon really, apart from all the hot spiky things shoved into my head. Ah well. I am now convinced of the need to talk about product. eg. “I need a lot of product in my hair because I use Pantene shampoo which hinders efforts to style it”. Yes.
Have not located a photo of myself yet. I don’t know that I have a photo of me by myself. Have photocopied my chocolate pudding recipe. And have not written a letter or prayer yet. Gah. 2 weeks til it’s all over…